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'Lost and Found' - A Seemingly Dark Holiday Parable by Zeena

20/12/2022

2 Comments

 

Originally published December 2011 for the Religion edition of Beatdom magazine:

'Lost and Found; A Sethian Fairy Tale' follows a divorced middle-aged father and struggling writer who's killing time during his most hated season of the year, Christmas. When a mysterious messenger delivers him a harsh message, one wonders if the whole thing isn't a dream...except there's a trinket left behind, with numeric symbolism.

While I never believe it's a good idea to explain meaning behind art, as that should be left up to the reader, viewer or listener, this parable might reach some gnostic and tantric initiates on varying levels of interpretation, depending on where one is on their spiritual journey.

May you have an Enlightening Dark Night of the Soul,
a Magical Modranecht and
an Auspicious Yule!
~Zeena
[Full story below]

Lost and Found
A Sethian Fairy Tale

So often, after the girls are off to sleep, I get this incredible urge to get out of the house. To get fresh air. To go for a walk. To want something. At first, I’d go for little walks at night. A walk around the block. Up and down the street. I’d have a sort of fear as I did this. Forced me to walk fast, pretending to be on my way somewhere, so I wouldn’t get hassled.

Then I started to walk a little longer each night. I’d bring a notebook with me. Write stories about where I might be going. Eventually my walks got longer and longer until I was walking the whole length of the city at night. As long as I kept that notebook out and kept writing, no one could figure me out. They’d leave me alone. Maybe ‘cause they thought I was a cop; I don’t know. Even though I was going through the worst neighborhoods unarmed I began to feel like I had control over the territory I covered. I paid attention to the tiniest details as I walked the streets; the smells, sounds, cracks on the sidewalk, babies crying, dishes being washed, guys beating up girls, pops in the distance. Got to the point where dudes on streets and everyone I started knowing along the way noticed my control too. Acted like I knew something they didn’t – and I did.

I’d walk and write. Stop, look around, Write. Listen. Write.

One night a man starts following me. I walk slower so he’d have to pass or confront me. His pace slowed down too. He’s on my heels. I mosey. He moseys. Now he’s right along side of me. He’s passing on the street side, closing me in against the building. What’s this cat think he’s trying? Peripheral view: Darkish figure, slight build, medium height, dark baggy clothing.

By now I’m writing in staccato notes, balancing my notebook as I go. Hoped he’d see I’m busy and just get a move on. It usually works. It’s not working. What’s happening? He don’t say a word.

Walk from 31st Avenue to 18th Avenue this way, in silence. Him pinning me in against the buildings. Every street we cross I’m thinking okay man that’s it - You go. Chicken race! Thirteen blocks then he crosses 18th Avenue and takes a turn away from me down the street. Ha! Chicken! Keep going straight ahead. Like I hadn’t noticed.

Give the walks a rest tonight. Kelly has a cold and goes to sleep early. Linda watches The Snowman on T.V. with me. The boy’s sinking into the melted snow, realizing there’s nothing left for him anymore of the snowman’s magical world. Except for the scarf that was his gift to him. Blaring holiday music and announcements for the next show kill the end credits’ music. Some shithead on a commercial shakes my little girl and me out of our teary enjoyment, “Time’s running OUT! Only a few days ‘til Christmas...Time’s running out!”

Whatever he’s advertising’s lost on me. All that penetrates my melancholy HO-HO-Holiday reverie is his manic: “Time’s running out! Time’s running out! Time’s running OUT!”

The next night I go out again. 31st Avenue. A little misty but no need for the umbrella yet. A little nervous until I get my pace going. No one walks this far down. 30th Avenue. Look around, all clear, nobody there this time - cross. Start writing again, get into the swing of the sounds. Right. Get into the senses again, get into it. A bus hisses past. Late-night burning oil of Chinese take-out. Creeping smoke from cheerless bars. The desolate one or two bulbs in an apartment building filled with worker-drones already asleep, maybe always asleep. 

Cross 29th. In a dumpster behind the laundromat a rat springs up, facing me off like a boxer. Hip hop flares past. Christmas lights in a window. Blinky lights. Blinkity-Blink. Blink. I blink and turn away to clear out those tracers. What’s that shadow? Duck back behind the schoolyard fence and get a safer look. Same height but I can’t be sure. Can’t freak myself out either. I can only see him from behind. Don’t take any chances. Fuck. What the fuck does he want? Just wait ‘til he’s gone and turn back. Blinkity-Blink. For four nights after that I took the same walk. Everything’s fine.

On the fifth night it happened. Same street, same man, same situation. Coming up behind me he’s doing the control thing again, just shadowing me close enough to make me edgy. It’s working, he senses it. Call his bluff - just stop. Walks right by. First good look I got at him.

Older and stockier than I imagined. Better looking though. Pick up the pace again. Control’s mine again - a little. Now I’m following him. Now he’s gotta worry whether I’ll catch up to him. But he’s not worried. I know he’s not. He’s just mind-fucking me.

Wait, he’s slowing down. What am I going to do now? Fucker thinks I’m scared? Fuck him then. 25th Avenue and I’m outta here. I turn left. Angry. I hate him

Why’d he have to spoil a perfectly good story? I’m going home.

Three nights later, out again. Christmas. Some fascist “womyn’s” Überlaw says mothers always get the kids for holidays. No matter how fucked up they are. No matter how much they ignore the kids the rest of the year. No matter how much you pay for the kids and have to watch them every time mom wants a new hairdo. Or has a new prick around the house. Or dyke-pal. Mothers always get the kids on holidays. 

So I’m on my walk again. And it’s cold. Raining. Open the umbrella. Too awkward to write and hold an umbrella. Forget the writing this time. Just walk and smell the rain. 

Couldn’t be. Walk faster. Sound of those taps getting faster again too. Man, ‘the fuck? What’s he want from me? Hold your breath. Get it over with. Just do it. Whatever it is he wants. Just get it over with. ​

“What are you writing about?”

Don’t answer. Ignore it. Walk faster. Those fuckin’ footsteps going faster.​

“What are you writing about, young man?”

Young man?! What th' fuck? He must be even older than I thought. Keep walking, steady - fast. Breathe. But pick up the pace, he's gainin'.

“Hey! I asked you a question.”

Shit! okay. Deep breath.

“What- Who, me?”

“Yeah,”

“I’m not writing nothing.”

“But you were and I hope it wasn’t about me.”

"No!"

What the fuck! Reaching for me - right at me! I can't move! My arms recoil.

"I said, I hope it wasn't about me."

He's shakin' my brains loose. Where the fuck's this old guy got the strength...? Everything's blurrin'. My eyes are rattlin'. My teeth are mashin' my tongue...he's smashin'...my head...against the building...

"N...n...no!"

I can't breathe with his face this close to mine.

“Because what I do and where I go is none of your business, even when you’re involved in it.”

“Oh.”

I wanna go home - bad. I’m stuck now. I'm sick, feel sick. My legs are giving out. That's it.

“Here’s something to encourage you to keep your mouth shut and your pen capped. And remember – Mind the time. Time's running out.”

He grimaced and slipped something in my pocket and let me loose. Turned right down 18th Avenue again and was gone faster than I knew what happened.

Me? About-face. Run home with Jell-O legs.​

Safe! Call the girls. My little angels. Calm myself. Do something normal. Wish them a Merry Christmas, "Who loves ya? Daddy loves ya."

They're fine. Didn't notice anything in my voice.

Check my pocket.

A watch.

A cheap watch.

A cheap, wet, busted watch.

A cheap watch stuck at 4:21.
-END-
Picture
[posted by t.m.]
2 Comments

Walpurgisnacht Greetings from Zeena

30/4/2020

0 Comments

 
As we're upon the The Witching Hour of Walpurgisnacht, I'm sharing how I celebrated this holiday twenty-eight years ago in the Harz Mountains of Germany. Filmed in 1992, this footage is of the first public Walpurgisnacht festival after decades of being banned by the former DDR. The footage is from my film 'Germania: The Theory of Ruins'. Some described this scene as eerily reminiscent of the Danish silent classic 'Häxan', but in color. 
While this world-wide pandemic has had varying effects on everyone, and public events must now be cancelled, we can take heart in the fact that for many years, many people weren't able to partake in the sort of celebration shown in this video. If they were able to maintain a continuum to their spiritual roots and folk traditions, even if practicing privately, certainly we too can find ways of making the best of this holiday.
Whatever you do tonight, worldly or other-worldly,
​may you have a very wonderful Walpurgisnacht and May Day!
Many blessings and stay well!
--Zeena

Details:

Walpurgisnacht 1992 is an excerpt from the Originally titled GERMANIA: The Theory of Ruins, A Film by Zeena Schreck.

In 1992, during a pilgrimage to several Germanic pagan holy sites, Zeena filmed scenes at the first publicly organized Walpurgisnacht celebration in the Harz Mountains since WWII. In an attempt to remove all traces of religion, including pre-Christian Germanic pagan customs, from the East German Democratic Republic (DDR), public Walpurgisnacht celebrations were banned. Therefore, this footage is a pure document of the people in the Harz region of Germany - the original birthplace of Walpurgisnacht - reviving a long lost tradition, pieced together from scraps of relics and memories from the elders of their community.
An exhibit in the Walpurgishalle was held that year to display Walpurgisnacht folk costumes and decorations which had been gathered
from cellars and attics, unused for decades.
The twilight performance footage seen here was held at the outdoor theater, Das Harzer Bergtheater, on the Hexentanzplatz.

From these modest beginnings, the Harz Region now enjoys a thriving tourist industry dedicated to the magnificent Walpurgisnacht festivals they host every year. For information visit www.harzinfo.de 
Music in this video is Die erste Walpurgisnacht, Op. 60, Ouvertüre: I. Das schlechte Wetter (Bad Weather) by Felix Mendelssohn. Performed by Kurt Masur, Rundfunkchor Leipzig, Gewandhausorchester Leipzig
​
Video footage copyright Zeena Schreck 1992/2020
All rights reserved.

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The Symbolism of Harvest Time: Zeena as The Angel of Death

10/9/2017

1 Comment

 
A Message From Zeena:

"In celebration of Harvest Season and the coming Autumn Equinox, I am very happy to share with you a newly created fine art portrait of me as the Angel of Death by the very talented artist and friend Fabiano Gagliano.
All of Gagliano's works are timeless depictions of feminine beauty at its highest spiritual ideal (a phenomenon I've coined in my book Demons of the Flesh as “the Feminine Daemonic”). His style has been honed over decades and is refreshingly free of any distractions, distortions or irritations of modern art trends or references. The minimalist, streamlined presentation and choice of colors is confident yet sensitive and beautifully classical without clichés.  
Picture
"Portrait of Zeena as Angel of Death" by Fabiano Gagliano, 2017 - Colored pencils on treated paper, 25x38cm.
"Aside from our mutual appreciation for the same aesthetics in traditional art, and our similar histories as graphic artists for publications and band art, Gagliano is also a long-time accomplished musician and has traversed a kindred musical path as I; it's through oblique music connections from our past bands that we came to know each other. So when he asked to do a new rendition of an established photo-portrait of me, I knew that in his case it was a perfect suggestion. Based on his art education, experience, intuition and instinct, he understood not only my personal tastes but the significance and layers of the symbolism in the portrait he proposed, as it relates to my life's work.

The Augustinian quote he chose to include in the portrait, says it all:
Noli foras ire, in te ipsum redi. In interiore homine habitat veritas.
'Don't lose yourself with the outside; return within. Truth dwells inside the human heart.' (loosely translated)

This scripture could also be understood as the Method which leads to spiritual Enlightenment, known in many mystical traditions variously as: Primoridial Wisdom (Vajrayana Buddhism), the Gnostics understanding of Sophia, the Quest for the Holy Grail and the process of Internal Alchemy.


Thanks to Fabiano for his inner wisdom to “see” what many cannot see, and to hopefully inspire others to “see,” with all senses, the magic of feminine beauty in all of his works - and all of life as well...

~Omnia Vincit Amor~

~Zeena     "
___________
To see more of Fabiano Gagliano's work, visit his online sites at:
www.fabianogagliano.com 
https://www.instagram.com/fabiano_gagliano/
https://www.facebook.com/FabianoGaglianoArtPage/?pnref=lhc  
https://it.pinterest.com/fabiano777/ 
1 Comment

Audiovisual Presentation of the Summer Solstice Ritual Now On Our Site

2/7/2017

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Summer Solstice 2017 - Torino di Sangro, Italy

Picture
A slideshow and video from the Summer Solstice ritual can be now be seen on the
NEW permanent feature 'Photo Gallery of Events and Activities' page of our website.
Click  on this link: 
http://www.zeenaschreck.com/photo-gallery.html

Video  clip of the ritual is below in this post.  

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ITALY: ZEENA TO CONDUCT SUMMER SOLSTICE RITUAL BY THE SEA

3/6/2017

3 Comments

 
EXCLUSIVE- Zeena will conduct a rare Summer Solstice Ritual and Blessing by the Sea in Italy: Open to the first 12 people to reserve their place. A teaching with guided practice and the possibility for individuals' questions answered are also included in the ritual event. More details below in Italian language, then followed by English.
Because of the very limited number of participants allowed, to reserve a space NOW use THIS PayPal Button:
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ESCLUSIVO: Zeena guiderà un raro rituale Tantrico-Sethiano per il Solstizio d'estate con la benedizione del mare italiano, l'evento è limitato ad un gruppo di 12 persone. Durante la giornata saranno inclusi anche alcuni insegnamenti aggiuntivi con pratiche guidate. 
Seguono più dettagli.

* In sintonia con il lignaggio yogico del saggio buddhista tibetano Milarepa, a cui Zeena è iniziata, il tema dell'insegnamento sarà basato sulla consapevolezza intuitiva che il guru avrà al momento dell'insegnamento, e riguarderà quindi ciò che sarà più utile in quell'istante per i partecipanti. Per questo motivo,  il tema dell'insegnamento non potrà essere annunciato precedentemente. 

* L'insegnamento inizierà alle 15.30 ed includerà istruzioni sulla pratica dello yoga; verrà dedicato del tempo per fare in modo che i partecipanti siano guidati attraverso la pratica. 

* Ci sarà tempo per domande brevi e conseguenti risposte.

* Alle 18.00 dopo l'insegnamento, ci sarà un piccolo break per cenare. 

* Ognuno dovrebbe portare con sé il cibo che preferisce, non possiamo accontentare ognuno con dei piatti speciali. Ma ci saranno alcuni snack leggeri per tutti. Vi preghiamo di portare anche le bevande di cui avete bisogno. Per rimanere vigili durante l'insegnamento e il rituale, si chiede di astenersi dal bere alcolici finché non sia giunto a termine il tutto. 

* La pausa serale durerà approssimativamente tre ore. Durante questa pausa sarete liberi di andare fuori a passeggiare, parlare con gli altri, fermarvi o visitare la spiaggia. Ma per favore siate puntuali per il rituale che inizia alle 21. 

* Incontro privato con Zeena: se qualcuno ha domande personali sulla spiritualità o l'iniziazione, potrà farle durante la pausa serale. Quando farete il pagamento tramite PayPal siete pregati di far notare che volete anche parlare in privato, oppure rendetelo noto a un assistente durante il seminario.  

* Il rituale avrà inizio alle 21.00.

* Richieste di benedizione per sé stessi, per gli altri o per animali, potranno essere scritti sulla carta e dati a Zeena alla fine del rituale. 

* CHIUNQUE NON POSSA PARTECIPARE, MA VUOLE COMUNQUE CHE LA PROPRIA RICHIESTA DI BENEDIZIONE SIA INCLUSA ALLA FINE DEL RITUALE, è pregato di mandare solo il proprio nome OPPURE il nome della persona o dell'animale per cui è la benediIone a kch_info@yahoo.com. Scrivete chiaramente il motivo per cui chiedete la benedizione (es. esseri deceduti, persone malate o animali), oppure brevemente lo scopo per cui è la benedizione. PER FAVORE, NON LETTERE LUNGHE!!! Solo il nome e lo scopo. Sarà aggiunto al rituale. 

*L'evento si concluderà alle 22.00.

*Per domande rivolgersi a kch_info@yahoo.com . 

[FINE]

ENGLISH VERSION :

EXCLUSIVE: Zeena will conduct a rare Tantric Sethian Summer Solstice Ritual and Blessing by the Sea in Italy to a limited group of 12. Additional Teaching with guided practice also included. – more details below.

*In accordance with the yogic lineage of the Tibetan Buddhist sage Milarepa, from which Zeena is initiated, the theme of the teaching is based on the guru's intuitive understanding of what the participants need at the time of the teaching. Therefore, the theme of the teaching cannot yet be announced.

*The teaching begins at 15.30 which includes instructions of yogic practice plus time for participants to be guided through the practice.

*There will be time for short questions & answers afterwards.

*At 18.00, after the teaching, there will be an evening break.

*Everyone should bring their own preference of food, for themselves - we cannot accommodate each person's special food wishes. But there will be some light snacks for everyone. Please also bring your own drinks. To remain alert through the teaching and ritual, we ask that you to refrain from drinking alcohol until the teachings and ritual are over.

*The evening break is approximately three hours. During the evening break, you're free to go for a walk, talk with others, rest or visit the beach. But please be on time for the ritual which begins at 21.00.

*Private Meetings with Zeena: If anyone has spiritual or initiatory questions of a personal nature for Zeena, there will be time during the evening break to do that. When making your Paypal transaction, please note that you would like to speak privately, or mention it with one of the assistants at the seminar.

*The ritual will begin at 21.00.

​*Requests for blessings for yourself or others, or for pets/animals may be written on a paper and given to Zeena at the end of the ritual.

*ANYONE NOT ATTENDING, BUT WHO WOULD LIKE THEIR REQUESTS FOR BLESSINGS TO BE INCLUDED AT THE END OF THE RITUAL, please send only your name OR the name of the person or animal for whom the blessing is for to kch_info@yahoo.com. Write clearly what the blessing is for (i.e., deceased being, or sick person or animal), or briefly what the purpose of the blessing is. NO LONG LETTERS PLEASE!!! Just a name and purpose. They will be added to the ritual.

*The entire event concludes at 22.00.

*For any questions, contact kch_info@yahoo.com.

[END]

3 Comments

    ZEENA 
    Art & Mysticism

    Official blog dedicated to Zeena's photography & graphic design, sound art, magic & mysticism.

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