'Lost and Found; A Sethian Fairy Tale' follows a divorced middle-aged father and struggling writer who's killing time during his most hated season of the year, Christmas. When a mysterious messenger delivers him a harsh message, one wonders if the whole thing isn't a dream...except there's a trinket left behind, with numeric symbolism.

While I never believe it's a good idea to explain meaning behind art, as that should be left up to the reader, viewer or listener, this parable might reach some gnostic and tantric initiates on varying levels of interpretation, depending on where one is on their spiritual journey.

May you have an Enlightening Dark Night of the Soul,
a Magical Modranecht and
an Auspicious Yule!
~Zeena
[Full story below]

So often, after the girls are off to sleep, I get this incredible urge to get out of the house. To get fresh air. To go for a walk. To want something. At first, I’d go for little walks at night. A walk around the block. Up and down the street. I’d have a sort of fear as I did this. Forced me to walk fast, pretending to be on my way somewhere, so I wouldn’t get hassled.

Then I started to walk a little longer each night. I’d bring a notebook with me. Write stories about where I might be going. Eventually my walks got longer and longer until I was walking the whole length of the city at night. As long as I kept that notebook out and kept writing, no one could figure me out. They’d leave me alone. Maybe ‘cause they thought I was a cop; I don’t know. Even though I was going through the worst neighborhoods unarmed I began to feel like I had control over the territory I covered. I paid attention to the tiniest details as I walked the streets; the smells, sounds, cracks on the sidewalk, babies crying, dishes being washed, guys beating up girls, pops in the distance. Got to the point where dudes on streets and everyone I started knowing along the way noticed my control too. Acted like I knew something they didn’t – and I did.

I’d walk and write. Stop, look around, Write. Listen. Write.

One night a man starts following me. I walk slower so he’d have to pass or confront me. His pace slowed down too. He’s on my heels. I mosey. He moseys. Now he’s right along side of me. He’s passing on the street side, closing me in against the building. What’s this cat think he’s trying? Peripheral view: Darkish figure, slight build, medium height, dark baggy clothing.

By now I’m writing in staccato notes, balancing my notebook as I go. Hoped he’d see I’m busy and just get a move on. It usually works. It’s not working. What’s happening? He don’t say a word.

Walk from 31st Avenue to 18th Avenue this way, in silence. Him pinning me in against the buildings. Every street we cross I’m thinking okay man that’s it - You go. Chicken race! Thirteen blocks then he crosses 18th Avenue and takes a turn away from me down the street. Ha! Chicken! Keep going straight ahead. Like I hadn’t noticed.

Give the walks a rest tonight. Kelly has a cold and goes to sleep early. Linda watches The Snowman on T.V. with me. The boy’s sinking into the melted snow, realizing there’s nothing left for him anymore of the snowman’s magical world. Except for the scarf that was his gift to him. Blaring holiday music and announcements for the next show kill the end credits’ music. Some shithead on a commercial shakes my little girl and me out of our teary enjoyment, “Time’s running OUT! Only a few days ‘til Christmas...Time’s running out!”

Whatever he’s advertising’s lost on me. All that penetrates my melancholy HO-HO-Holiday reverie is his manic: “Time’s running out! Time’s running out! Time’s running OUT!”

The next night I go out again. 31st Avenue. A little misty but no need for the umbrella yet. A little nervous until I get my pace going. No one walks this far down. 30th Avenue. Look around, all clear, nobody there this time - cross. Start writing again, get into the swing of the sounds. Right. Get into the senses again, get into it. A bus hisses past. Late-night burning oil of Chinese take-out. Creeping smoke from cheerless bars. The desolate one or two bulbs in an apartment building filled with worker-drones already asleep, maybe always asleep. 

Cross 29th. In a dumpster behind the laundromat a rat springs up, facing me off like a boxer. Hip hop flares past. Christmas lights in a window. Blinky lights. Blinkity-Blink. Blink. I blink and turn away to clear out those tracers. What’s that shadow? Duck back behind the schoolyard fence and get a safer look. Same height but I can’t be sure. Can’t freak myself out either. I can only see him from behind. Don’t take any chances. Fuck. What the fuck does he want? Just wait ‘til he’s gone and turn back. Blinkity-Blink. For four nights after that I took the same walk. Everything’s fine.

On the fifth night it happened. Same street, same man, same situation. Coming up behind me he’s doing the control thing again, just shadowing me close enough to make me edgy. It’s working, he senses it. Call his bluff - just stop. Walks right by. First good look I got at him.

Older and stockier than I imagined. Better looking though. Pick up the pace again. Control’s mine again - a little. Now I’m following him. Now he’s gotta worry whether I’ll catch up to him. But he’s not worried. I know he’s not. He’s just mind-fucking me.

Wait, he’s slowing down. What am I going to do now? Fucker thinks I’m scared? Fuck him then. 25th Avenue and I’m outta here. I turn left. Angry. I hate him

Why’d he have to spoil a perfectly good story? I’m going home.

Three nights later, out again. Christmas. Some fascist “womyn’s” Überlaw says mothers always get the kids for holidays. No matter how fucked up they are. No matter how much they ignore the kids the rest of the year. No matter how much you pay for the kids and have to watch them every time mom wants a new hairdo. Or has a new prick around the house. Or dyke-pal. Mothers always get the kids on holidays. 

So I’m on my walk again. And it’s cold. Raining. Open the umbrella. Too awkward to write and hold an umbrella. Forget the writing this time. Just walk and smell the rain. 

Couldn’t be. Walk faster. Sound of those taps getting faster again too. Man, ‘the fuck? What’s he want from me? Hold your breath. Get it over with. Just do it. Whatever it is he wants. Just get it over with. ​

“What are you writing about?”

Don’t answer. Ignore it. Walk faster. Those fuckin’ footsteps going faster.​

“What are you writing about, young man?”

Young man?! What th' fuck? He must be even older than I thought. Keep walking, steady - fast. Breathe. But pick up the pace, he's gainin'.

“Hey! I asked you a question.”

Shit! okay. Deep breath.

“What- Who, me?”

“Yeah,”

“I’m not writing nothing.”

“But you were and I hope it wasn’t about me.”

"No!"

What the fuck! Reaching for me - right at me! I can't move! My arms recoil.

"I said, I hope it wasn't about me."

He's shakin' my brains loose. Where the fuck's this old guy got the strength...? Everything's blurrin'. My eyes are rattlin'. My teeth are mashin' my tongue...he's smashin'...my head...against the building...

"N...n...no!"

I can't breathe with his face this close to mine.

“Because what I do and where I go is none of your business, even when you’re involved in it.”

“Oh.”

I wanna go home - bad. I’m stuck now. I'm sick, feel sick. My legs are giving out. That's it.

“Here’s something to encourage you to keep your mouth shut and your pen capped. And remember – Mind the time. Time's running out.”

He grimaced and slipped something in my pocket and let me loose. Turned right down 18th Avenue again and was gone faster than I knew what happened.

Me? About-face. Run home with Jell-O legs.​

Safe! Call the girls. My little angels. Calm myself. Do something normal. Wish them a Merry Christmas, "Who loves ya? Daddy loves ya."

They're fine. Didn't notice anything in my voice.

Check my pocket.

A watch.

A cheap watch.

A cheap, wet, busted watch.

A cheap watch stuck at 4:21.

Message from Zeena:

My heartfelt thanks to Christy Alexander Hallberg for publishing the outtakes from our interview. As is often the case when being interviewed, off-topic questions organically come up and in this case Christy was able to inadvertently document what many have asked me about but which I haven't publicly discussed - my spiritual path and how I got to where I am now. As Christy presented this additional interview material to me as a birthday present, I not only thank her sincerely for that but also hope that anything of what I said is of some benefit to others on their own spiritual journey. Remember that every day you wake up and have the advantage of being alive, in a human body with human conscience and cognizance, and all the potential that comes with that, is a gift and a chance to begin a new life of your choosing.

And last but not least, because my root Lama, who I speak of in this interview, also has his birthday so close to mine (same time of the year), I extend all the best birthday wishes and long life prayers to the Very Venerable Thrangu Rinpoche who turns 91 in a few days! Below is a video of last years prayers to him by his monastery in Canada. For those unfamiliar with Tibetan Buddhist types of liturgies and rituals in this video, this gives an idea of the practices to which I'm initiated, for which I'm so very grateful!

As we enter into the dark months of the year, may your heart be filled with light and non-judgment and you become a beacon of radiant compassion and loving-kindness to all sentient beings around you. 
​
-Om Mani Padme Hum-
​
Zeena
P.S. As I first listened to the interview, the point where I'm describing the intermediate state of consciousness between one life before reincarnating into the next life, in Tibetan Buddhism known as the Bardo Thödol, which spans forty-nine days, I noticed that the total running time of this interview coincidentally came to forty-nine minutes!

German online music magazine African Paper posted a great review of Zeena's 'Bring Me the Head of F.W. Murnau". Scroll below for the English translation of the original German language review.
Digital downloads of the album are at Zeena Schreck Bandcamp.

Perhaps one has to be well-travelled to realize that they're one of those people who don't settle for the illusion of home - I'm talking about an illusion here insofar as the ideas you have about your own life, that are always illusory in a certain way - you can or want to let those illusions in. The famous silent film director Friedrich Wilhelm Murnau wrote to his mother from Tahiti, where he was shooting his last film Tabu, that he only felt homesick to a limited extent, because no country, no house, no person's companionship could really give him any sense of home. He became particularly aware of this on the island at the other end of the world, which he felt bewitched by.

The compact but intense sound collage-like album, which Zeena Schreck - formerly of Radio Werewolf - composed about a fictional post-biographical episode surrounding Murnau, with accompanying videos by a certain Tnopud Salocin, begins with an excerpt of this letter, appropriately framed by the sounds of tropical tides and delivered in a slowed down, androgynous voice. The haunting tale that forms the backdrop to the music is about the abduction of the director's head from the cemetery in Stahnsdorf near Berlin - something that some may think is an urban legend but that actually happened a good ten years ago, and so the master's homelessness outlasts his physical life.

A feature of the album is the constant blending of the director's life and work. “Ill Omens”, whose melange of alienated, perhaps sampled instruments is reminiscent of a slightly sepia-toned grey, could be a congenial score for the bizarre skull robbery, and yet the tension, the coarse-grained and flickering humming and hissing, after which only the death bell remains, is reminiscent of many a film scene from Murnau's oeuvre. "A Drive up the Coast" is like a peaceful little miniature [fairground]: organ and waltz rhythm evoke a carnival atmosphere, and when you hear the sound of rain and the honking of a vintage car toward the end, you might even think of California, where Zeena herself spent her early years.

While the first three tracks have an effect of a soft introduction, the rest of the compositions get more to the point. With ritualistic percussion by drummer Hisham A. Bharoocha, hand drums and rattles, odd reverbs and orchestral quotes, "Tabu," which contains lyrics from the film of the same name, is a furious celebration of the dark side of the exotic, and contains in Zeena's recitation the warning to respect the eponymous taboo. In “The Phantom Bridge”, which draws from a pivotal scene from Murnau's best-known film Nosferatu, the voice sweeps like murmurs through a room, flanked by dusty bright bells. In a whisper, the voice tells of unknown places and things, but also of life leaving the body, while water ripples in the background. For anyone familiar with Zeena's background in Vajrayana Tantric Buddhism, entirely different dimensions might open up here, in the vampire's quotes.

In the final track, “Endlich Daheim”, which opens with the rattling of an old film projector, and whose lyrics are by Zeena herself, the whole spooky story about the open grave is revealed, in which the director seems to have actually found his home, decades after his physical death.

“Bring Me The Head Of F.W. Murnau” is a beautiful, concise piece of music that wraps the aura of old, fantastic film scores in a delightfully experimental guise, and at the same time doesn't seem implausible for a second. All this and the appreciation of the master is in no way disturbed by the fact that the signature of the musician herself is always present and sometimes becomes explicit through small and not so small hints. The already mentioned echo of a faded fairground somewhere in Karloffornia and the reference to tantra could also be purely coincidental and a projection of the reviewer. Less so, however, is the title which refers to an early Radio Werewolf release (and indirectly to another classic film, Bring me the Head of Alfredo Garcia) - but at that time it was about the head of an unpleasant journalist.

When past and present, life and afterlife, one's own and the other's are intertwined in this way, it becomes clear once more how illusionary the perceptions of time, space and what one takes for the self are in the end. The fact that you can still feel Zeena and the world of Murnau throughout is not a contradiction in terms. -admin/African Paper 
​[Original German Version HERE.]

Christy Alexander Hallberg interviews Zeena for Rock is Lit Podcast, Episode 6, focusing on rock novel ‘Sway’ by Zachary Lazar. Hallberg states, “In the final segment, I was so privileged to get the chance to talk with Zeena Schreck who was kind enough to share her memories of Kenneth Anger and her insight into some of his iconic films, especially the 1969 'Invocation of My Demon Brother', a movie that is the connective tissue of 'Sway'. Believe me you don't want to miss this episode.”

​​Rock is Lit Podcast description:
​
“Zeena Schreck, who is an artist, musician, Tibetan Buddhist yogini, and the goddaughter of Kenneth Anger, as well as former High Priestess of the Church of Satan (founded by her late father Anton LaVey), shares her memories of Kenneth Anger, including how her father made him her godfather and her personal and working relationship with Kenneth. She also talks a bit about her background and rebuilding her life as a Buddhist in Germany. In addition to this, Zeena discusses Kenneth’s interest in Aleister Crowley; the making of and background on some of his iconic films, especially the 1969 film ‘Invocation of My Demon Brother’ (a movie that figures large in Zachary Lazar’s novel ‘Sway’); Kenneth’s relationship with Anita Pallenberg and her influence on the Rolling Stones; and how Kenneth’s work influenced MTV and music videos.”

​Zeena's part begins at the one hour mark: https://rockislit.simplecast.com/episodes/zachary-lazar-author-of-sway-_tUsXnKj?t=1h0m4s

In addition to the main interview, don't miss the bonus material with show notes and special photos from Zeena on the Rock is Lit Vault page :
https://www.christyalexanderhallberg.com/podcast-vault-feed/zeenaschreck

Zeena's music "Summer Swelter" and "ENDLICH DAHEIM”, from ‘Bring Me the Head of F. W. Murnau’ are segmented in her interview.

[posted by T.M. Thursday 13 October, 2022; 15:50]

Personalized autograph option located in the drop-down menu.*
(*If you have animal companions for which you'd like Zeena's personalized blessings - as well as for yourself - simply send your and/or the animals names to kch_info@yahoo.com to be added in the calendar inscription.)​

-ORDER HERE-


About the paper:
*All images are printed with classic look on Hahnemühle photo art print paper.
*High quality inkjet printing process.
*Paper surface is fine matte and textured.
*Weight of 250 g/m²
*Dimensions: 300x200mm / 8”x11½”
*Suitable for cropping and framing after use.

Zeena Cover Story in Derailed Magazine: 

Since the publication of this extra-long interview with Zeena for Derailed Magazine, many have requested to read it in a more user-friendly format. Specifically, some found the version on the Derailed website difficult to open and navigate to read all the way through whereas some non-native English speakers expressed that they would have liked a way to read the text through translation apps. For those reasons, we're archiving the complete interview text below in this post.
The original full color hardcopy of the magazine (containing visuals not included in this post) is available at: https://www.derailedmagazine.com/april-2021
​Many thanks to Daphne Minks Daly at Derailed Magazine for facilitating this in-depth, exclusive interview with Zeena!

[Posted by Thomas]

Refusing correspondence that addresses her by previous surnames or titles, she has done her best to distance herself from her former identity. A permanent resident of Germany for well over two decades, Zeena says, "My leaving my birth country wasn't just about my family. It was about the country itself. It's about what I went through with that national witch-hunt, the whole experience." The former High Priestess affirms, "In the eighties, there were so many factors that came together, that caused good reason to travel a very extreme distance. My mind was made up. And that was it, I just had to get away. And sometimes you have to go very, very far away in order to get your life and head together."

Zeena thoughtfully explains, "I often compare that experience to a branch on a tree. The tree, representing the family, maybe has root rot and it's beginning to reach up through the trunk of the tree as it's growing. The root rot is beginning to infest with parasites and it's actually toxic and rotten. Yet, there are a couple of branches, maybe close to the top or sticking out at the side, that the root rot hasn't reached fully. It's getting close, but if you can snip them off and replant them maybe they've still got enough life in them that the toxic effect hasn't reached them completely."

Continuing, she says, "Snip it off, replant it, get it into healthy soil with some sunlight and nutrients. Then that branch of the tree can grow and get healthy. But first, it has to be separated from the rot. I feel that about my life here in Europe, that I returned home. That I actually was in the wrong place before."
​

Many thanks to Tnopud Salocin for his video mastery, perfectly synchronizing select clips from the classic 1922 Prana-Film* Nosferatu to my tone poems in 'Bring Me the Head of F.W. Murnau.' What better way to enjoy Good Friday and Easter weekend than with a haunting necromantic tale tracing the end of Murnau's life into his afterlife, all choreographed to the visuals of his centenary cinematic masterpiece! Embedded below are each of the videos or watch on auto-play at my YouTube channel.

Many thanks also to all who ordered the premiere 1st edition, signed and numbered series of BMTHOFWM, which are now sold out. More sonic magic is currently in the works! 
~Zeena
​​
[Digital downloads at Bandcamp or get the CD HERE]
​
*Correction made on 29.03.2022 to original text which mistakenly stated production company as 'UFA film.'
[Posted by Thomas]

For general information regarding Zeena's teaching and consultation sessions, and how to book a session, please refer to the newly updated Teachings Page on this site at https://www.zeenaschreck.com/teachings.html

The Spring 2022 update at the end of the Teachings Page doesn't mean any change to established students' continued training.

Any questions can be emailed to kch_info@yahoo.com .

[posted by Thomas]

Beginning Friday 4th of March, Bandcamp is waiving their artist fees for 24 hours - a perfect time to order Zeena's first solo release, 'Bring Me The Head Of F.W. Murnau: A Ghost Story in Six Acts,' available at Bandcamp in both digital download or in a digipak CD limited edition (including download code). 

About the Album:
After a long career in collaborative music activities, this is Zeena Schreck's first entirely solo recording project, placing the collector value of this project in historical context. (To order from Bandcamp, click here or on the picture below.)

Released on March 11, 2020, 'Bring Me The Head Of F.W. Murnau: A Ghost Story in Six Acts,' was inspired by news reports that the director's head had been stolen from his grave in Berlin. 
The tone poems in this recording are sonic necromancy, reflecting the transition from the end of Murnau's worldly life to what his disembodied consciousness may have experienced in the afterlife. Many of the intricate sounds heard in these tracks were captured in field recordings at Murnau's former residence in Berlin and at his grave site in Stahnsdorf, Germany.
All music and vocals composed and performed by Zeena Schreck.

​Genres: Ambient, Avantgarde, Electroacoustic, Experimental, Minimalism, Sound art, Soundscapes, Tonkunst, Tone poems.

• There are now only eight CDs left of the original, limited signed and numbered edition. 
• The limited edition also come with a download code and a 5.47" x 4.21" (13.9 x 10.7 cm) post card sized flexi-magnet of the album cover.
• Numbers of the signed limited edition which are still available are #82-89.
• Aside from the limited signed & numbered edition, there are also normal sealed (unsigned) copies available.

For more details on the backstory, and the making of the recording, here's an in-depth interview with Zeena by Nicholas Diak about this recording.

To order, click the picture below .

[posted by Thomas]

How Nightmare Alley Conjured Real Occult Worship: Den of Geek's Tony Sokol interviews Zeena about how 'the spiritual con at the heart of Guillermo del Toro's Nightmare Alley is based on a story with a strange power and connections to the occult.' Read the full article at https://www.denofgeek.com/movies/nightmare-alley-conjured-real-occult-worship/​

In various Vedic, Mahayana and Vajrayana schools of Buddhism, the intermediate, transitional, or liminal state between death and rebirth is known as the Bardo. There are also several other kinds of Bardo states. But for the purposes of this Halloween message, let's take a moment this weekend, transitioning from October to November, to focus on the symbolism of the Bardo of death as we enter the month most associated with death.

Whether it's Halloween, Día de Muertos (Day of the Dead), All Saints' Day (La Festa di Ognissanti ; Allerheiligen) or All Souls' Day (Giorno dei Morti; Allerseelen), in general the entire month of November is the seasonal change into darkness, when harvesting is finished, accounts settled, supplies and necessities stored for winter, and when visits to cemeteries and liturgies to the deceased are performed.

With these thoughts in mind, I send out heartfelt blessings of the season, that you may have positive connections with the dearly departed beings (humans and animals) who have touched your life in meaningful and profound ways. Think loving thoughts to them and remember that everything in this life is impermanent, beginning from the moment we're born. So value the preciousness of all that you have - in this moment, while you have it - so that you have no regrets or sadness once it has passed.

Relevant to theme, I'm sharing a lovely video clip I recently discovered - a most noble goodbye to a stalwart Jack-o'-lantern, by Joe Pera (please watch til the end; it's only 2½ minutes!).

The Zaum of Zeena: A Collection of Interviews, Essays, Quotes and Images by Zeena Schreck, edited by Frank Haines, is a monograph originally presented as an art zine at the 10th NY Art Book Fair, at MOMA/PS1, Sept. 17-20, 2015. The limited first edition of 50 sold out immediately. The 2nd edition in zine format, also sold out years ago. Many requests for a reprint inspired this new 3rd edition - now in high quality softcover book format, also offered with autograph option on this site.

Review excerpt by Luca Piccolo:
​"[...] in order to have [a] kind of transcendental experience from a work of art, one needs to develop and learn how to use one's sensory perception in a most supernatural way. Therefore, in the case of Zeena's work, we can only begin to understand the deeper dimensions of her art and music, which are so closely linked to her spiritual path, by developing our own senses and spiritual awareness. We might then come to understand how it is that her creations are "a non-verbal, trans-rational branch of her spiritual teaching." In fact, this is the main theme of the first interview in this book, which happens to be my own interview with Zeena, originally published in WSF (online Italian art journal)."

Review excerpt by Nicholas Diak: "One of the standout qualities of iconic individuals in the post-industrial underground is their ability to be successful in a variety of mediums. The subject matter they explore—occultism, history, literature, magic, criminals, film, Grail studies, taboo topics, etc.—crops up in their songs, short films, books, poetry, art, photography, and a plethora of other outlets. Correlating such output is a daunting task. [...]Zeena Schreck is a multi-media artist, writer, musician famous for Radio Werewolf, and a Tantric Buddhist whose artistic output spans decades. Her newest literary offering is The Zaum of Zeena, a softcover that straddles the zine/book format debuted at the tenth annual New York Art Book Fair at the MoMA PS2 this past September. The alliteration in the title is a re-appropriation of a term for a Russian art movement during World War I that encompassed many fields. In the case of The Zaum of Zeena “zaum” is being used as an umbrella term for Schreck’s many endeavors that are showcased in the book.

Only two weeks after that wolf rescue, there was an editorial in The European newspaper glorifying the glamour of celebrities who die young, while at the same time decrying likes of Brigitte Bardot as a bitter old has-been, animal rights nut-case (presumably because she didn't kick the bucket prematurely, like the other youthfully deceased celebrities listed in the article). After having witnessed the genuinely selfless efforts by the Bardot Foundation, which made a lasting impression on me, I felt compelled to write a rebuttal (a scan of the original letter is at the end of this post).

Bardot had long been an inspiration to me; a woman with principles and compassion who turned her back on celebrity status to focus on animal liberation. The journalist's name has been removed. However, my respect for Mme. Bardot and the sentiments expressed in my letter remain as strong if not stronger today.

The below quote describes the moment Bardot knew what her life's mission was to be:

​To an amazingly strong and dignified woman who has survived many storms and saved many sentient beings' lives:  May she have the very best of birthdays!

​-Om Mani Padme Hum-
​
​Zeena 

Note: More about the wolf rescue is in BEATDOM #11: The Nature Issue

In the Sethian Liberation Movement, the birth of the ancient Egyptian deity Seth/Sutekh is celebrated annually for a thirteen day cycle between 16th-29th of July. To mark the conclusion, Zeena releases two additional new designs to her Magic and Mysticism apparel collection. Descriptions below! You can also check them out on our new Etsy shop! 

-SLM